Life, Death and Love, Chapter Three

A Prayer

Merciful Spirit of God,

Move Thou across the chaos of this, the deep and dark waters of my life.

Cast the shadow of the wings of Thy presence over the chaos of my heart:

over the anger at unseen and fearful powers I feel tearing me asunder, powers I cannot name, powers I have begged Thee to rebuke yet they surround me still;

over the evil I find myself doing, the evil I hear my own voice speaking; the desperate things I do to bring this terror to an end in my own ways, in my own time;

over the places within me shattered by despair at Thy silence at my cries and longings for Thine aid;

over the places broken because Thy hand did not stay the brutal, unspeakable and unseen evils that assail me;

over the sadness that has crushed my fragile hope. My faith has been ground to dry dust;

I fear for my life. The night is so vast and dark, I am helpless against its horrors.

o Lord, hear my frail voice before it goes still, before I cannot find the faith to beg Thee any longer for Thy hand to heal my wound.

I lay this, my chaos before Thee.

Spirit of God, pass over the face of these my dark waters and let there be light once more. Divide the waters, dry my tears. Create in me all manners of wild and glorious things, constellations of joy, seasons of exhilaration and rest, places of angelic praise, places of deep mystery, places of firm footing. Let Thy Spirit work its blessed and holy fear within me. Let it gather up what has been broken and shattered and create something of your sacred imagining. I then will know certainly Thou art indeed the Creator, the bringer of holy order within me and the Savior of my soul.